Postaday: The most important thing I accomplished in 2010

I think everything I achieved over the past year was important. Having done so many things I couldn’t possibly choose one over any of the others because each one has its own merit and as such is equally important. However, the one single thing that meant most to me is a different matter. Last summer I was so honoured to present at the birth of my youngest daughters first baby.

At first, I was apprehensive, I mean, was I able to watch my daughter in the discomfort of childbirth? Notice I use the word discomfort, just in case any new Mummies to be are reading this blog. Secondly, was I able to be there for her in such a vulnerable  and personal position? Then I asked myself if I was being selfish. She clearly wanted me to be there to support and give her that security of her Mum being beside her so why shouldn’t I? I mean I had brought her into this world, been there from the beginning and nursed her through sickness, rejoiced with her at happy times, praised her for her achievements, listened to her problems and nurtured her through boyfriend troubles. I was unjudgemental, supportive and there for her then so why should this situation be different. I decided it was my own fear that made me even question it. She needed me and I was definitely prepared to be there.

I speak of my youngest daughter here but I have three older daughters who are no less precious, who all have children too. Circumstances were different then and unfortunately the older ones were the ones I learned on so by the time I had my youngest daughter I was pretty well experienced. In retrospect, it is quite hard to look back and realise how different I could have done things but, and something I have to keep reminding myself, I did the best I could for each of them with the knowledge I had at the time. I loved them all so much which I feel was the most important thing. I wish I could have done things differently and that I could change things but I take comfort in I did my best and they have all grown into wonderfully self sufficient women and maybe had I been different  they might be the wonderful people they are. I guess all mothers must ask themselves from time to time if they have done the right things in the journey to trying to be the best we can.

Anyway, I accepted the invitation and was beside her all the way. I know it might not be the greatest thing that people have achieved but for that time I was being the mother I wished I had, had. I did my best completely and, as it turned out, I did make a difference. The birth was text book, my daughter a star, the whole thing was calm and easy, well, as easy as giving birth can be, and I felt just so honoured to have been there. Millie arrived with a smile, the baby as well as Mummy, and apart from the first few weeks when she had a little reflux problem and cried a lot, she has the sunniest disposition of any baby I have seen. At six months she rarely cries, she never stopped smiling all the way through and today she just brightens up everyone she smiles at. And that is everyone who meets her, happens to be near her on a bus or pass her in the street.Her smile makes me feel so absolutely wonderful and thankful that I was there to help bring her into the world, cut her cord, dress her for the first time and watch as she achieved all those little milestones over the weeks. I feel a little sad that my other grandchildren have all lived so far away, scattered across the world or hours away in other towns, and I missed all these little things. But I am thankful that my children have sent photos and videos of them growing up.

Ok, this was an important thing for last year but it was just one special moment in time and there have been so many others. I look at each of my children and each time they achieve something special, I know I have accomplished so many more special times.

I also accomplished the first draft of my first novel, apart from the final chapter. There’s a lot of proofreading and redrafting to do but I have a hard copy printed, for me a great achievement. The other thing I also accomplished was establishing myself as an artist. This is a personal thing of course. I have painted for over twenty years but last year I sold a lot of my work, used it to barter other services, but the best of all,  in 2011 I accepted that I could paint. That I was good enough and I learned to be proud of my achievements. Take a look at some of the pictures and see what you think.xx

Millie and her smile.

Bangladeshi Sunset

Lilies

 

 

Robin’s Pincushion

Calm cove

 

 

 

 

West Coat Cliffs

Hope you enjoyed them as much as I did painting them.

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