Philosophy – Forgiveness

I forgave you – but I never forgot. When I heard that you had died I wasn’t sad, but then, I wasn’t happy either. It took me a while but I travelled to you in spirit, gave you my forgiveness and left you with my love.

I guessed you must have been through something really terrible to have been so cruel to us. I thought that maybe, in spirit, you could use that love and forgiveness. Having a hard time yourself was no excuse for what you did but I think I understand. In the end I refused to let you damage the rest of my life and in forgiving you, I was released. I hope my forgiveness shows you how to forgive too.

If I cry today, it is out of sadness for you. For the pain you must have had when you were small. For the anger you carried. For the hardness and cruelty in your heart that must have been so crushing. But most of all because you felt you had to carry it all, a heavy burden, and pass it on instead of forgiving and lightening your load.

I am strong now and what I went through helps me offer an arm to lean on, a listening ear or understanding and empathy to others. You gave me that knowledge so I am thankful to you for that. I stopped crying for my lost childhood a long time ago. I am happy for the lessons I learned and my ability to get to know and understand myself and others like me. I learned to like myself.

It was your misfortune that taught me to be strong, taught me to look for a reason to forgive. It was your coldness that taught me that even the most unlovable person has his own story and still needs to be loved. I know it is difficult in the physical but I understand how easy it is to love, spirit to spirit. So because I learned about pain, fear, anger, despair, loneliness, depression, anxiety and all those other emotions for myself and because I saw your pain, I learned how they might manifest as cruelty in others. I also learned that, in the physical, it is hard to get through the prejudices and conditioning of life in people suffering, just as it was with you. But, and most importantly, I learned that if I visited your spirit, or others in the same position as yourself, I could love and forgive easily. Even better still, I could ask for spiritual love, strength, comfort, hope and angel healing on your behalf.

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