A successful day!

So just what does make a succesful day? to a scientist it must be a major breakthrough, to an artist… the completion of a major work, to a mother maybe the end of a lovely day and the children are asleep in their beds… so many successes. I could go on but I won’t because for me my successes are very small and maybe insignificant.

Today I completed the proof reading and correction of a film script draft for an ex student of mine. She is Turkish yet writes in English, to me an unsurmountable problem because languages are not my thing, just like maths… a closed book, thanks to bad teaching in the fifties. Her script was funny and a brilliant capture of European life in comedy and its only flaw is her understanding of the English Language at a colloquial and common level, which is where I came in as her proof reader.

 It took two whole days, meaning a minimum of fourteen hours, to correct her ‘English’. But to me it was more than just a lot of rephrasing and changing grammar and spelling, it was giving a dedicated writer the opportunity to get out there and show her talent. It might seem harsh to those like myself, who are aspiring writers yet don’t have’ the bottle to get out there and do it’ but I like to take a different angle on it. So many of seek glory and recognition, few attain that status. Maybe a famous film star, scientist, artist… personally, I believe it is who you know not what talent or what you know. Yet I believe that in this world we all have our place, our purpose in life. Whether our dreams come to fruition, I believe, it is in fate’s hands and at every level we are silent heroes.

 My daughter always says ‘ your happiness and success is your own hands’ and she has the strength of character to go out and get it. I never did. My childhood crushed whatever aspirations I had and it is difficult to retrain the habits of childhood. My children will never understand who I am and why I did things the way I did because I am only just understanding them myself. Maybe too late to make a difference in my children’s lives, but I do believe that everything we go through in this life is a learning curve. We all need to learn so much , it isn’t the things we learn that is important as much as what we do with the things we do learn in this life.

My dreams as a chld were to be an actress, a singer a performer ,later to be a good mother, to make changes to the way i was brought up by becoming a better parent with my own children, then to be an artist, a writer… nowadays I aspire to be a good partner, grandmother, mother, friend and teacher. Always seeking that something special, always wanting that heroship.

I have come to the conclusion that the secret of happiness is that of other people… Imagine if everyone thought that way and gave everything they had to enhance others. what a wonderful world this would be. It doesn’t matter what my dreams and aspiration are, my successes lie in the  happiness of those around me. No one sees it, knows it, maybe even notices it, but each time someone says thank you or acknowledges your friendship, it is a success. It maybe nothing but your own acknowledgement of something someone has achieved because of your support, advice or friendship, the thing is we need to take stock of our feelings and forget self and acknowledge the important part we played in that person’s life progression.

 Such a hard role to play, yet it is these roles that make is heroes. Unsung, yes I agree, but who actually counts the acts of heroism each one of us plays every day? We shall never know how much a smile made a difference to the passing stranger, the helping hand to an elderly person, a kind word…. I could go on… I believe that what is important is life itself, giving and loving.

I might well say I have done so much, written so much, yet it is all insignificant in the wake of what we do for others. I hope my student is really successful because she has something special, get up and get out there… something I never had, yet here Iam standing in her shadow, supporting her dream and I believe that is my role in life. Little as my efforts might be, I am the rock that they stand on to reach the goals they seek…

Is that not success? I think it is. So let us not seek heroism, success in material or public acknowledgement but watch carefully the success of others because of our involvement, even for a fleeting moment, in their lives. Now that is real success and something we might never know about is nothing short of heroism in the thoughts of others..

Today,  achieved everything I set out to achieve, success! my list was filled! but maybe my daughter had a good day because I said that to her and gave her my love before she left for work, Harry was able to carry out his long arduous day because I said ‘I love you, have a good day ‘ before he left, my older daughter felt loved because I told her ‘I love you’, my son felt comforted because I gave him my blessing on a decision he had to make. Maybe my student will become a published screen writer.  Maybe, just maybe, these are the successes I should be counting, we should all be counting. Those little things we do that we don’t even notice might just mean the world to someone else… Now that is success!


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