A re-post

January 10, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , ,

I wrote this blog entry in 2009 and somehow it still has some relevance to what I am writing today. Do things go round in circles? I have promised myself will post properly again later but till then I hope this will be an interesting read again.

Tuesday, 30 June 2009

Little Boxes

I am a bit of a squirrel and after reading Millie Johnson’s book ‘A Spring Affair’ I decided to have a bit of a clear out myself. I am the one who says to my daughter, ‘tidy house, tidy mind.’ You can imagine the response and her bedroom still looked like a major explosion had happened in it. Until, that is, a friend was coming over for a girly day in. For two days before she attacked things that I wouldn’t go near without checking my vaccinations were up to date, but they say penicillin grows on mould so maybe I was being a little melodramatic. According to Tabby I was anyway. Well, she emptied all her drawers and her cupboards into a huge heap on the middle of the floor. ‘I don’t know what I started,’ wails she. I went to look, it looked no different to me but she assured be it was such a mess! Over the course of the entire two days she medothically hung clothes up, sorted the washing, gathered her make up together into a little basket, bagged up rubbish for recycling, throwing away and the charity shop and sorted her CDs and DVDs. At the end of it all there were three bags of rubbish besides the recycling and I mean black sacks, not bad for one room.
She polished, vacuumed and washed walls, changed the bedding and cushion covers and really worked hard on it. At the end of it all she came downstairs. ‘I hate to say this,’ she says, ‘but you were right.’ ‘Oh?’ said I innocently, ‘what do you mean love?’ ‘I feel really sort of clear in my mind, it looks really good and I feel so much better.’ I resisted the impulse to say I told you so instead congratulating her on what she had achieved. All this made me think about my own tidiness. I love everything to be neat and then I can relax and write or do whatever without that nagging guilt taunting me. I also like things to be neatly put away so … I collect boxes. I have always been a collector, as a child it was those little wooden matchboxes , scrap books, little charms from jamboree bags, ‘diamonds’, – well coloured glass beads – and I had a place for everything. Today I still collect, glass bottles, books, bits of paper with interesting writing on, all my papers from University, pens, pencils –  forever searching for that perfect pen or pencil, little things that I won’t throw away in case it is useful, paints, art paper, brushes, wool, sewing things, oh, and of course boxes. I used to have a beautiful collection of tins, old tins that I kept buttons in, pressed flowers, ribbons, needles and pins, all the sort of things I use from time to time. Useful things yes! Then I moved house two or three times and each time I had to thin my stuff down until now it is , and I even say so myself, a manageable amount for the way my life has changed. So, why is it I am still drawn to keeping little boxes, tins, containers that could hold….. I find it so hard to throw these things away and I do use them from time to time.
I am good at justifying. Harry recently said to me, ‘Do you really need all these jars in the shed.’ ‘They’re for when I make jam or pickles and things.’ Says I. I went to look, I was never going to fill four boxes of jam jars, sauce bottles, pickles jars etc. How easy it would have been to say ok I’ll keep one box but the memories of when I wanted to make pickled onions and jelly after someone had given me a lot of fruit to use up and I couldn’t find a jar anywhere… this was after I had thrown everything away on one of my moves… sprung into my head. Instead, I had to go through every one and keeping those that looked pretty, had a nice shape, was just perfect for sauces and on and on. Why can’t I just throw things away?
 I got to thinking about my life while I was having a clear out today and it has been so complicated, sad, bad, unhappy, ecstatically happy, so many things I didn’t want to remember, so many things I did and it suddenly dawned on me. I even store little boxes in my head. Many things from my childhood I didn’t want to remember so I started to build a cupboard with lots of little boxes in it, a bit like my grandfathers shed. I filled each little box with those I didn’t need to look at often and labelled them ‘ for when I know the answers’ Then, to counteract the bad ones, I filled the box next to it with ‘happy memories’ then ‘my Grandparents’ or ’sunny days in the garden’, ‘ sad times’, ‘painful times, ‘joyful…’ and so on and so on until my mind was an organised room of memory boxes. Once that was done I was content, the past was no longer an issue, I learned to forgive, and I could look forward to the rest of my life without the jumble of thoughts and feelings tripping me up or popping up just when I didn’t need them to. In this case it was tidy mind, tidy life…
Well it has hardly been that but little boxes are important to me. I know where everything is when I need to look at it or use it, There is always room for more, They don’t get in the way when I don’t want them to… it keeps me happy anyway. Today I looked at a small cardboard box that I had been saving ‘just in case’ and decided it hadn’t been used for nearly four weeks so I threw it away, I was proud of myself for that but I did notice in the store the other day a nice little set of basket work drawers that would look so nice beside my settee…….

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Memory…. is the diary we all carry about with us – Oscar Wilde

January 9, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , ,

What a wonderful statement and so, so true. We tend to carry on living our lives and enjoying different experiences and often sharing them on our blog page or in personal journals to look back at in the future. I for one never stopped for one moment to think of my memory as the most wonderful diary of all. The best thing about that diary is that it is so totally limitless. There are no boundaries tied up in words and even the most creative writer can never conjure up the best images that are triggered by the other senses – touch, smell, taste or sound. There are no words to describe or produce images that you would get on experiencing a certain smell, for instance.

I remember years ago when my children were small, we lived on top of the West Hill in Hastings. Every day I trundled them all, including baby in the pram, down and up this hill that cars struggled to get to the top of, those living in Hastings will know Mt Pleasant Hill very well. Anyway, right at the top just before we rounded the corner to home, there was a bakery and a few doors up a wool shop. As a very ‘crafty’ sort of person, I was always in the wool shop buying wool, patterns and the like and after reading the above quote, which did trigger off loads of memories, I realised why it was my favourite shop.

As a child I lived a lot with my grandparents in their tiny cottage. two up and two down with a tiny kitchen out the back no hot running water , no bathroom and an outside loo with a solid wooden seat that always smelled of jeyes fluid. We bathed once a week in front of the living room fire in a tin bath filled with water heated in the copper and transported by my grandfather in a tin bucket…but that wasn’t only memory it triggered. It was the smell. The kitchen always smelled of homebaking and Lux soap. So what does this have to do with the quote and the reference to the wool shop? I hear you ask. Walking into that wool shop was like walking into my grandmother’s kitchen. The smell transported me back immediately to that time and place. I mentioned the smell to the lady in there once and she couldn’t smell it but smiled sweetly at me and nodded as if I were mad. I guess the smell from the bakery must have permeated the wool shop, the soapy smell was maybe co-incidence, but to me it was just heaven. A moment’s escape from a very busy world.

As I wrote about my Grandparent’s house a million memories came flooding back to me, more and more with each one I remembered. a mountain of tumbling thoughts and words, feelings, smells, sounds, words, experiences that I have never written down. Each one bringing its own feelings to add to an experience from a lifetime ago and it is just wonderful. I do write many of life experiences down, notes, thoughts, images and memories so that I don’t ever forget the wonderful times I have known. However, that statement brought back to me more memories than I would ever be able to transcribe to page and I have a whole new concept on life.

Life is a series of experiences, good and bad, happy and sad but there are none that we haven’t learned anything from. Our ego, our consciousness tells us we should be sad or angry about things that happened to us, sometimes it brings happy times up and then tells us to regret that we no longer have those times. For me, each person that has passed through my life, those who were there for a short while, or even longer – what is the reference ? a reason, a season or a lifetime? Some were with me for a moment, for the reason they needed to be to play their part in my experience, some saved my life, offered words of kindness yet others were cruel and left me with painful memories before they faded out of my world. Others stayed for a season or two and held my hand through difficult times, supported or encouraged me before moving on and yet others have remained with me, even if it is from a distance, from the moment we first met. I now know that each and every one was as important as the rest and as important to me and my life experience as each moment that passed. And that if I stand back and reflect, my own personal memory diary is always open to be remembered. The difference is, as I have got older, I am able to see the wider picture and now understand the whole reason for needing to record everything… I simply forgot about my wonderful memory..

I know that doesn’t make much sense but I know that one day my memories will be lost just as the memories I had with my grandparents mean nothing to my children. But in recording them in the only way I can – in words on paper – or on digital memory systems these days, I feel I try to keep the memories of past generations alive for those future generations that will never have known them. My experiences might help them to make sense of a strange and sometimes cruel world. I hope it will be useful to them and maybe a little more than just a snapshot of a time past for when my own personal diary has closed.

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Frugality and Purse Strings

January 5, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , ,

Nearing the end of the first week in January and I am smiling. Why? well, as part of my taking control of my life I also decided to watch the pennies. That includes saving, wherever and whenever I can, who knows we might just be able to have a bit of a holiday this year. I long to go back to Cornwall, want to see friends in Ross-on-Wye and we are overdue a family visit to N Ireland, so every good reason to try my best. The reason I am smiling is that so far I have saved £35 from this week’s shopping budget! For me that is good, really good. If I managed to save at least twenty-five every week that’s a hundred pounds a month! I am so pleased with myself. It does help that I have quite a lot of food in my freezer where we ‘made sure we had enough in case of visitors’.

The secret is to shop myself. Hard as it is to manage the walking that shopping involves, it is worth it on my purse. The other part of the secret is – lists – and not ones that I give to Harry to go shopping with. Bless him he does really well for a guy, well, too well really. I always give him a list of necessities, most of which are fruit and vegetables , and he hops in the car in his element – he loves shopping and browsing – drives me nuts especially as I am a get in the store, get what I want and go home sort  of shopper. His philosophies are – they were on offer so buy it – and – why get one when you know I always buy two. A few weeks ago I fixed my well done smile as he came home from shopping grinning from ear to ear at the bargains he had found. I bit my tongue hard and tried so hard not to laugh… is he really that forgetful? I took him gently by the hand and led him to bathroom sink cupboard where half is devoted to cleaning products and the other half to toiletries. ‘I wonder if you could just put them in there for me?’ Eager to please he went back and gathered up the armful of shampoos, conditioners, body washes and various sprays and toilet cleaning products and headed for the bathroom. I opened the cupboard and he stood looking at me.  ‘Oh’ says he. I smiled sweetly at him again and said, ‘I think we have enough to last for a while don’t you, maybe we can add them to the extra stock we also have in the broom cupboard under the stairs?’ I think he got the message. I have no idea why he must think we use so many bottles of stuff in a week? I guess he is trying his best but I think it is time for the magic cleaning fairy to enlist his help a little more often instead of just replacing the empty items.

How much am I going to save on that? we could last at least 2 months on what we have already… I know, I know, it isn’t all his fault, having brought up eight children in the country where the nearest supermarket was 8 miles away and not driving myself, I guess I got used to making sure there was always plenty in the store cupboard. Now there are just two of us and the odd visitor and family popping by, I am sure we don’t need so many things ‘in stock’. So, on Monday we had a roast shoulder of lamb, cost – seven pounds. On Tuesday I added chopped vegetables, spices and rice and we had risotto, which also lasted for lunch for both of us the next day. Tonight, we had the last of the meat and the stock from the bones in a rather delicious Rogan Josh. Better than that it made five meals! So that one piece of lamb made eleven meals at £1.57 a meal! And , I might add there was plenty of meat in each meal.  We don’t eat the same every day, just to reassure, I like to be creative and I usually freeze each spare meal separately for those times when I have been busy and we can just have a quick meal or H can take it for his lunch at work – sorted! All I have to do is keep my wonderful shopaholic man away from the shops.

All this frugality should also help my weight loss, says she with hope in her heart. Having shown how easy it is to gain weight (over Christmas) now let’s see if my eating plan and frugality will do the trick, next Wednesday at weigh in will tell me.

P.S. We have a local convenience store a hundred yards from our house and we ran out of bananas for his packed lunch and rather than spend money from the budget I am trying to save on, I gave him five pounds from my purse. ‘I’ll only get a few because we will be shopping at the weekend.’ says he. The look on his face as he arrived back told me he had failed miserably… ‘They had chickens on offer and I thought you might like to try out that clay cooking crock I bought you.’ Like I couldn’t wait till the weekend? I rest my case, bless his cotton socks, he does try so hard to please me… and he does, just not my purse strings!

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Food for thought

January 4, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , , ,

” You are diligent in keeping your car full of fuel. Are you as diligent in keeping yourself full with good thoughts and good feelings?  You can only go in the direction you want in your life when you have the right fuel, and enough of it.”  Daily Teachings – The Secret by Rhonda Byrne.

Had a busy day with three of my grandchildren today so am taking this quote as food for thought before I fall asleep over the keyboard. I love this book and try my best to follow the daily attitude of love and gratitude. All my life I have tried to shake off the learned behaviour of my family. The superstitions, the negative thoughts and the pessimism that all played a big part, handed down from generation to generation, has prevented me from growing as a person. So much that I never dreamed that I could do better than I did. I have managed to achieve so much more than my mother despite being disadvantaged as a child. OK so it took me to adulthood to believe in myself and it has been really hard work but today I am proud of what I have achieved and am still working toward better goals.

‘The Secret’ is a brilliant little book that brings to life just how positive thought and belief can change your life by using the law of attraction. Since reading this I now understand more about myself and my past and am beginning to change the way I think even more. I always endeavoured to be positive but childhood experience ingrained in me that failure was inevitable. If I tried my best I had no support, no-one behind me to say well done and in the end you stop trying. Since stepping out and just doing the things I like doing, like my art and my writing, I am learning that I am successful, I can do these things. I have often been so grateful for the gifts I have and long before I read this book and yes, my work improved and got better and better. I should have realised it then, positive thinking gives positive results.

I have a long way to go, maybe I always will have and I shall never stop trying to improve myself. ‘Every day in every way, I am getting better and better’ is my mantra as is the gratitude for the journey I have travelled. In case I forget, in my pocket I carry a pebble, my little ‘gratitude rock’, just to remind me to give thanks for all the wonderful people, gifts and things around me every day.

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Challenges!

January 3, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , ,

As part of my new year plans, I decided to try to learn something new every week. Not just something simple like a new recipe, no, my challenge is to face my obstacles. All my life I struggled with things like Maths for example. When I am learning it I understand even the most complicated sum. I understand the importance of maths in science and my brain seems to accept even the most impossible quantum physics – though where that came from I have no idea. I don’t ever remember learning much about science at school, playing with bunsen burners, drawing and naming the human body, dissecting worms was about the limit. We were an all girls school so in those days maybe they decided the topic was more for boys in those days. Anyway back to maths, despite it all making sense on paper and in my head, the moment I walk away from the book, it is gone! Whoosh! as if I had never learned it. I have pages of maths practice that I have written and got perfect but ask me to go back and explain it or do it again, you might as well be asking me to speak Chinese.

So I am not planning on venturing into the world of mathematics in the near future but the other subject I never got to grips with when I was younger was Geography, loved History, English was my best subject along with art and music at school but Geography was another closed book. How frustrating it is to play games of trivial pursuit when I know nothing of the world and countries on my own planet. So, yes you guessed it, Geography is my subject. My task is to choose a place somewhere in the world and research as much as I can on that place each week.

Harry bought me a globe last week, a good sized one big enough to see the names of countries , towns etc and one that also illuminates to define the borders and political areas in each country. Not that politics is ever going to be a subject I would study but never the less it is interesting to just find these things out. I have a world atlas but need to check that it is up to date, if not well I have the internet. I am getting quite excited about it. I know a lot about the natural world because nature and the countryside around me has always been a passion of mine both as someone who lived in the ‘sticks’ and as an artist. I watch all the programmes on other countries so I know a fair bit about the natural habitat in different places and in some incidences, the people. What I don’t know is where they are situated. I was shocked to find that New Zealand was nowhere near where I thought it was and so much smaller. I have susch a lot to learn.

Another reason for wanting to know these things is my 4-year-old granddaughter, Maica. When she saw the globe she was fascinated and we looked for ages at all the different countries. We talked about the sea and different bits of land and in particular the journey she travelled when she went to live in Spain. We looked at where her Abuella lives and where Papa came from in Portugal and discussed how they flew there when she was a very small baby and sailed back when she was two. She listened and asked questions and I got quite excited that she might have understood. That was until she asked about where her friend Elsie lived because she was going to tea at her house. I smiled at the wonderful simplicity of her understanding. Somehow I have to find a way to show her the difference between local road maps and a world map… How exciting! I am so looking forward to learning with her too.

So that is my challenge this year. I think it will that much easier because I know several people from other climes and on WordPress there are so many people from the US, Portugal, Spain who write such interesting blogs and so on so it will open up something special for me. I know one blogger in particular I follow has such wonderful pictures  and stories of Portugal -  thank you Piglet – and I intend to discover other places that are more remote. Silly that I am not a traveller and have never been out of the UK but well, armchair travelling sounds good to me and who knows, maybe next time we play triv, I might just be able to hold my own.

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Resolution, inspiration, dedication and time management.

January 1, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , , , ,

That is the plan. This year I am not making any rash promises that I know will be broken within a few weeks but I am going to read more for inspiration, dedicate more time to art and writing and make sure I use all the time management skills I can muster. Trouble is I am the queen of procrastination. Maybe because I have that butterfly mind and love to be busy pottering and doing stuff. I rarely watch TV and never during the day, I do read but I consider that research ahum… good enough for me. What I must stop doing is sitting near the window to type or paint. I start to work really seriously then ‘ …oooh there’s a bird in the garden, hope the cats are indoors…’ or saying to myself…’ I’ll just do that little job before’, followed by ‘while I am here I’ll sort out that pile of mail on the dresser’. Before I know it a morning is gone.

So my resolution is to dedicate certain times for doing things, a bit like working really. Then I must get back into reading something other than novels. I have so many inspirational books and texts, they really fire me up but my procrastination sort of fizzles my enthusiasm down… I have my library all organised in subject matter, partly because I am a neat freak Virgo, partly because I can’t bear to waste time looking for things but mostly because I love my books. The local library is going to do well when I pop my clogs. I should have been a librarian, no, maybe not, I’d be reading all the time. Still I reckon these resolutions should be manageable, even for me.

My other resolution is to be a little more selfish and take time out for me. I am going to meet an ex work colleague later on in the month which I am really looking forward to. She was always such inspiration to me when we worked together. It was because of her that went into teaching and recently when I spoke to her, it was because of me that she did an art course when she retired.. We spend so much of our lives thinking about what people do for us and I tend to forget that maybe I might be giving something back totally unknowingly. So this year I am going to listen to my own advice … I mean I tell my children all the time to go about your business with a smile and a kind word because you have no idea just what a difference it might make in someone’s life and not to be grumpy if an older person wants to sit and talk to you on the bus, you might be the only person they speak to on that day… Time to spend a moment or two to meditate on my day. Hehehe but not so much as I could call it procrastinating, honest.

When I stop and think of all the things there is for me to do my mind goes into a whirl, housework, cooking , laundry, they’re the boring bits but my garden is a mess and stuff needs pruning that should have been done back in the autumn – my excuse is that I was too busy… doing what?! Add the garden to my list of projects to include in time management.  My art is a priority because I do it for other people often and my writing is my indulgence, along with reading but I am sure I can fit it all in. I need to recover from over indulgence at Christmas, the rich food and sugar has upset my poor bones so I need to get back on the healthy eating wagon so I can at least sit comfortably. I am so pleased with myself that I only had any alcohol on Christmas day and New Years Eve… I have done quite a lot of writing over the past 6 years or so, over a glass of wine, so I have promised myself only for special occasions this year and that it is ok to put the cork back in the wine bottle. At the very least it will help to make a great casserole if I leave it too long.

Well, no set resolutions but here’s to a productive, thoughtful 2012, doing the things I like to do, things I need to do and sharing more time with those that inspire me. Easy! It’s all down to priorities and time management. Right? Yes! and remembering that every day is another chance to make some precious memories for the future.

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Happy New Year thanks!

January 1, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , ,

The turn of the year has come and passed and I sit here before going to bed in 2012 with a glass of fine wine. 2011 was a good year for me in many ways and I said goodbye to it with a gratitude that will carry into the new year. I achieved so many things, small to many possibly but often a major achievement for me. I met new people, learned new things, reached new goals, faced many challenges and now I am about to make more for the new year. I have to thank so many people for being a big part of the past year and not least my Harry. Always there quietly – um let me rephrase that… not so quietly – supporting me, making me laugh, cheering me up, giving me encouragement when I didn’t believe in myself and just saying the right thing at the right time. OK there are times that aren’t always that way but that wouldn’t be him if he was a saint. He wouldn’t want that pedestal but never the less - he is my rock!

My family is also a great support, each one of my eight children give me something really special. I am so proud of all of them, each for their own uniqueness. watching them as successful adults and how they cope with the challenges of life gives me a deep sense of love and pride and gratitude. Their success is a measure of mine – be it because of or in spite of. I love most of all how they are all such close friends with each other, how they aren’t afraid to talk to me or question my reasoning as a parent, how they can come and discuss their lives with me with trust, how they are such wonderful parents. There are so many things I love them for but most of all I thank them for sharing this life, this time and this journey with me.

There are also new people in my life that have encouraged my belief in myself. Those that have purchased my paintings, those that have asked me to do a specific work for them, those that have critiqued my writing and those that also say nice things about it. It’s up to me now to accept their words and believe in myself more. Thank you especially to Trevor Belshaw ( Forest) for believing enough to want me to do his art work. Do check his web page out  www.trevorforest.com to see his wonderful children’s books.

I guess the next things are my resolutions for 2012 but I think as I have had a couple of glasses of wine I might wait until tomorrow to post them… Thank you to everyone who has been a part of my life, who have passed through my journey for a short while, or who have stayed. If you have been there even for just a moment, you are a treasured memory and therefore very special to me. I hope we will meet again in this new year. God Bless all of you.

Bye bye and thank you 2011, welcome 2012!

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2011 in review

January 1, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged ,

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 4,000 times in 2011. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 3 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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Diligent housewife, potterer or procrastinator with a butterfly mind…hmmm

December 30, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , ,

I had a list of things I wanted to achieve today, things like  the ironing, some art work, a bit of reading maybe, well definitely I would say. The writing bug has come back after a long and lonely break. I skimmed through the draft of my novel yesterday with intentions of resurrecting it and to give me some information for solid frameworks and plots etc. I scoured my bookshelves for a book, you know not to guide me but to give me fresh ideas. I found a load of books on writing short stories, writing ideas, nano writing, you name it, – I have it, so why is it that they are never quite what you are looking for. I got up from my reading, showered, fed and fussed one of my cats and picked up the books I had selected. An hour and a cold cup of coffee later I was still none the wiser. Then somehow things took a totally different pathway.

I washed up my cup and a  couple of other bits left over from last night’s supper, emptied the dishwasher that had been waiting since the day before and that was where I think other forces came into being. As I began to put stuff away in the cupboards I had the urge to tidy things a bit, accelerated by the fact that being hit on the head with flying objects as one opens the door above the eye-level oven is not much fun. Then my mind took over. My inner voice told me it is  New Year’s Eve tomorrow, I always take my decorations down on NYD, you know, new year, fresh start. I fought starting them today despite arguing with myself instead I settled for ‘ I will just tidy this’…. and on it goes. I moved to the utility room to put a casserole dish away, well its a sort of conservatory lean-to outside my back door, typical of little terraced houses and it has my washing machine and drier along with some kitchen units along one wall. Enough to keep all my cherished gadgets that have over spilled from  my tiny kitchen. ‘Hmm a bit dusty’ thought I and gets a cloth and some cleaning spray. ‘Actually, these cupboards are a bit cluttered, I could reorganise the shelf and get rid of all the junk I don’t need but keep in case. Now I wonder what I have in that bottom cupboard, it needs tidying anyway… washing up liquid – new, laundry whitener, spray polish, hand washing powder and what’s this? A new can of spray carpet shampoo!! Why do I listen to it?

I finished the cupboards and cleaned everything, organised my empty jars for pickle and jam making in the summer, put things that should be together in the same place and … the carpet shampoo just sat there in front of me. I walked in to the lounge, I had already made a mental note that it needed a vacuum today –  and I had been talking about cleaning the carpet since before Christmas. We have a big brute of an upright shampooer, amazing machine, but it did take a couple of days to dry last time and as it was winter I decided that little can of foam would do the trick. Voila – one shampooed carpet.

I make light of these labours but I have to do everything in short bursts of about half an hour otherwise the pain gets too much and I get nothing finished. But I cracked it! thank goodness no-one was watching me. I sprayed my little lounge, square by 3′ square then sat on a chair with a long handled brush to work the foam in for each little on patch thereby resting as I worked. Sorted!

Two major jobs completed. It took longer than most people would take but it got done, that’s the main thing. Enthused by my achievements I looked at the row of demijohns containing the home-made wine I started at the end of last summer. I have been putting off and putting off racking them. I mean it’s a long laborious job. Thanks to a kitchen stool and an ingenious balancing of pipes, I was able to sit and eat lunch while syphoning from one jar to another without too many spills. By cleaning up and sterilising the other things I needed as I went along, I was able to carry on for longer than I would normally, standing for a while to do one job and sitting when I needed to. Job done! I was shattered my knee hurt, my back was sore but once I had cleaned dried and packed everything away I looked at the floor. Sticking to it sort of gave the game away and of course the two hours drying for the lounge carpet was up so that needed vacuuming too, might as well do all in one sweep. Five hours from when I first sat down determined to write today I had vaccuumed all downstairs, cleaned my utility room, sorted the cupboards, shampooed the carpet, racked three demijohns of home-made wine and sterilised everything before I put it away. Now it is time to think about Harry’s evening meal..

How easy it is for me to potter, drifting from one thing to another, ignoring all my plans. I have the ironing to do but I still have enough tops to last me a couple more days so maybe tomorrow will do. I suppose while I was doing all this stuff , which has given me a totally satisfied  feeling I must add – you know what I mean? That tidy house, tidy mind sort of feeling, not that I am always neat and tidy despite my kids diagnosing OCD because my home is usually neat and clean – haha – I don’t have small people at home like they do – just me and Harry unless afore mentioned gorgeous little nuclear bombs visit leaving devastation in their wake, so it is going to stay tidy and I do get a lot of satisfaction from its tidiness.. hmm maybe I do have OCD… Now, where was I? Ah yes, I was running through some ideas for writing at the same time – talking about starting to write again … wow! Would you look at that! nearly a thousand words and I haven’t said a single thing that I was going to write about.. All those thoughts I had in my head just fluttered away… Tomorrow, I will start writing, tomorrow I promise, ok? I mean after today I won’t be fit to do much else anyway and the ironing will keep, what a perfect excuse to sit and practice how not to procrastinate or maybe to capture the lovely ideas my butterfly mind gives before they disappear completely like they have today..

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Food, Glorious Food!

December 29, 2011 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , , ,

No, not from the film Oliver although I can’t help thinking that reading the book or watching the film would have been a much more beneficial pastime than eating after the shock I got at my slimming group last evening. I mean, how on earth does anyone put ON four and a half pounds over a two day holiday?!! Well, ok so it extended past the two days – both sides of it –  but part of the preparation does involve tasting, especially when you are cooking for other people. It was a  great time though and the food was good. Traditional Turkey and Gammon on Christmas day with a vegetarian option, and a special supper on Boxing day. My son in law is Spanish, or is it Portuguese maybe a bit of both, anyway I decided it would be a nice change from the same old stuff if I cooked a Spanish meal for him, and my daughter and the oldest of their daughters of course.

I love cooking, I love experimenting and trying out new recipes and as much as I like trying them I love to entertain and see other people enjoy eating them too. As most people will know, I have arthritis  and find it difficult to stand for too long so all preparation is spread from my little kitchen to the dining room table where I  can sit and chop etc until that becomes painful and I have to stand again. I write all this to remind myself later in the year that it is possible to prepare elaborate meals if I pace things out. I managed very well, it took a lot longer than it should and stuffing cherry tomatoes with anchovies, olives and eggs was crippling but never the less, I achieved a fine Tapas meal.

Bless Harry, I can’t explain to him the satisfaction I get from creating a wonderful feast. I mean his idea of getting a jar and pre-prepared stuff defeats the whole object of being a creative cook, doesn’t it? I like to cook international dishes too and the thought of a curry coming from a jar is horrifying to me. Part of the joy of Indian food cooking is the wonderful aroma that hovers round the house from the natural spices. I always feel that if you can walk into a house and smell something delicious cooking, it is a warm welcome. Well, maybe not fish dishes so much. It is hard to explain to him that firstly, I don’t want to give in to the easy way and secondly, I can’t possibly be proud of a meal that was prepared by a food factory. I know he is thinking of me and wants to make life easier but if I don’t keep doing the things I really  love, what else is there?

This extends to my writing too, I find it painful to sit and type for any length of time and I gave up my blogging, but I love writing! I missed writing it.  So little by little I am taking steps to starting over. I love blog writing as much as I love the more serious stuff.  I have re-read the novel I have written previously and just want to throw it away and start again. I think I have a great storyline but how on earth do get all the words to go in the right place in order to make it a great story. Then when the pain starts and I have to do something different, I lose the plot… maybe I need to borrow Harry’s dictaphone to record the ideas. One way or another I am determined to rewrite my novel to make it move faster. Time to read up on plot and frameworking methinks.

Of course, I have so many hobbies that I have many different things I can do, sitting, standing, while watching tv – not that I enjoy the idiot box much – so even if I am in pain I can just change what I do and pick something that involves a different postition. Very frustrating when I have a deadline set. Still all these things do keep me away from the kitchen and so from the temptation of trying the food. Maybe I should get in the habit of asking someone else to taste it? Nah, I don’t think I could, not that I have a good sense of taste any more but I know what it should be like. Harry has a sweet tooth and so do most members of my family so it just wouldn’t work for me, besides, my task this week is to let Harry down gently. Having indulged in a lot of rich food and having to make up for it, a salad doesn’t quite hit the spot for him. I’ve been looking up low fat, low sugar recipes especially for Harry… I don’t like to use artificial flavourings or sweeteners so being creative is essential.

Ah well, I have given away most of the food now, all apart from the cake … a gorgeous recipe for 12th night cake, because no-one likes rich fruit cake, marzipanned and iced and decorated with hand made marzipan penguins on request from my grand daughter.. now that really is too nice not to eat. Good job I have just eaten a huge salad… I might just be tempted.

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